My husband is a snake in the grass The pastor told me

My husband is a snake in the grass  The pastor told me

Dear pastor,

I am 31 years old and I have a problem with my husband. Right now, I’m pregnant and he’s not giving me the attention I think I deserve.

He was living in the USA and quit his job and came to Jamaica and married me. We were friends for a long time – almost 10 years – because we were lovers since he lived in Jamaica. He went to the USA and got involved with another woman and then told me he was leaving that woman because he couldn’t get me out of his mind. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to be with me and he said yes.

He returned to Jamaica and we got married, at which time he told me that he had two children – one with the same woman and one with a girl.

One night we were in bed and he said he had a confession to make. I asked him what was the matter and he said that the confession was that his other mother was a married woman. He said it shouldn’t have happened but he went to her house to fix the leak they had. The woman offered him something to eat and drink, and after eating and drinking she told him she had a problem with her husband and that it had been a long time since she had not had sex. So she entered on him and he did not resist her.

So they had sex. But the husband believes that the child she carried is his. But the woman and himself know that he is the father of the child. And the child looks like him. But the man accepted the child as his own.

Pastor, if I had known these things about him, I would not have married him. He cheated on me and I would never let him get me pregnant. Every time I think about my pregnancy, I regret what I’m going through. If I had known these things about him earlier, I would have had an abortion.

I am a practicing Christian, and I do not claim to be one. I don’t know if I can live with this man anymore. I told my mother what I was going through and she told me that I should try to forgive him and take care of my child. His two children live in the United States. The mother of the first child is his first cousin. He said he didn’t want to marry her because it wasn’t right for him to do so, since they were related. I don’t want to continue living with this man even though my mother said that children should not affect me.

My husband travels to the United States often, and how can I make sure that when he goes there he does not visit these women? How can I trust this man? After I have my baby, I have to decide if I want to stay with him. He has a good job, and so do I. I am satisfied with the money I earn. We both own the house we live in and pay the mortgage. I don’t know what to believe when he told me about this woman who came to him while he was working on her house. I found my husband to be a liar.

My relatives think he’s a good man, but he’s a snake in the grass.


Dear A.,

I’m sorry to hear that this man cheated on you. In a real sense, you can see him as someone who ruined your spiritual life. You both have known each other for 10 years, and I assume that during his stay in the USA, he not only contacted you, but visited you from time to time.

Maybe you thought you were going with a perfect gentleman, but you were so wrong. He had a relationship with his first cousin. How did this happen? I’m sure he knew what he was doing. He got her pregnant but didn’t tell you and then he got a married woman pregnant and didn’t tell you either.

He came back to Jamaica, married you, got you pregnant, and only recently told you about those two babies. He is a cheater and I can see why you would find it difficult to live with and trust this man. I can understand why your mother would tell you that these children do not live in Jamaica, so they should not affect your relationship with your husband.

Your mother wants you to be happy and she means well. She doesn’t believe in her heart what she told you, but she doesn’t want to worry. How can you really trust a man who has one child with his first cousin, and another child with a married woman? I think if you are neglectful, after your first child is born, if you stay with him, he will try to get you pregnant again.

Sometimes I tell women what to do, and I don’t apologize for that, but in your case I’ll just make a suggestion. Do your best not to worry about your situation. Take care of yourself and follow your doctor’s instructions. After giving birth and feeling physically strong, make an appointment to see a family counselor. I also suggest that you speak with an attorney about your marriage. Do not discuss your husband and what he did with anyone in your family or even with your friends. Ask your mother not to say anything to anyone about your relationship with him. That’s all I want to say now.


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